Carnival Ride
Let's see... it's day 6 since the last paper of exams. And there's still no weeeeeeee-exams-are-over-and-i-am-free kind of feeling.
I reckon the happy mood won't come at all. Relieved, relaxed but not happy at all.
Anyway first things first, I need to clear and pack on my room. Hate it when redundant things are lying all over and the cupboard is filled with junk. Then I gotta sell some "family junk" as well. Sigh it appears that I am always the one that gotta to all these tedious little things because I appear to be "free." Ok, maybe I am... Zzzzz but I don't like it when people take advantage of me.
Where has the cheerful, bubbly and fun-loving Cheryl been to? Feel that I am always sparing a thought for everyone except myself. But me being me, I like to see everyone happy cause it makes me happy and perhaps sometimes at the expense of making myself happy. How contradictory..Zzz.. Ok maybe it's just the low times..
God seem to be telling me something recently. From priests' homilies, tv shows, blogs, friends, something I saw or read, it all revolves around family and love. I was very scared that day after hearing Father John Bosco's homily about 2 weeks ago.
He talked about his relationship with his father in the past. Communication between them was terrible. His father would always beat him without clear explanation and he will just angrily wonder why. They seldom talk. Until one fine day, when his father hit him again for something he did, he talked back only to receive more beatings. He was on the very verge to hit his father back. But he controlled his anger and he heard a voice telling him to apologise. Being stubborn, he held back for a while.. then he finally did say sorry. He was expecting more scoldings and beatings but surprising this time round, the father embraced him and cried. His father said he was sorry too and said he loved him and told him he had been always beating him because he loved him and was concerned for him. Towards the end, Father Bosco played a song.. can't remember what was it but it was really touching and meaningful. All in all, he said communication is very important and we have to say things before it's too late.
At that time, yeye was not in good health and suddenly I got this sense of foreboding like something bad is going to happen. Like God wants me to spend more time with him before it's too late. I prayed every night for good health and speedy recovery for my grandparents cause I told God not to take them away yet. There's still so much I want to do and say to them. Anyway, thank goodness yeye has been discharged out of hospital today.
Right now I just have to accept my responsibilities. Need to find some work soon too and get some money. Plan for a holiday as well and when I am back, gotta make some serious plans about the future. Dad's working too hard and bro and me is worried for his health. Mum's working and still need to do the house chores. Bro and me need to get a job soon and lighten their load.
The going gets tough but it only make us stronger.
We are on a carnival ride.
I reckon the happy mood won't come at all. Relieved, relaxed but not happy at all.
Anyway first things first, I need to clear and pack on my room. Hate it when redundant things are lying all over and the cupboard is filled with junk. Then I gotta sell some "family junk" as well. Sigh it appears that I am always the one that gotta to all these tedious little things because I appear to be "free." Ok, maybe I am... Zzzzz but I don't like it when people take advantage of me.
Where has the cheerful, bubbly and fun-loving Cheryl been to? Feel that I am always sparing a thought for everyone except myself. But me being me, I like to see everyone happy cause it makes me happy and perhaps sometimes at the expense of making myself happy. How contradictory..Zzz.. Ok maybe it's just the low times..
God seem to be telling me something recently. From priests' homilies, tv shows, blogs, friends, something I saw or read, it all revolves around family and love. I was very scared that day after hearing Father John Bosco's homily about 2 weeks ago.
He talked about his relationship with his father in the past. Communication between them was terrible. His father would always beat him without clear explanation and he will just angrily wonder why. They seldom talk. Until one fine day, when his father hit him again for something he did, he talked back only to receive more beatings. He was on the very verge to hit his father back. But he controlled his anger and he heard a voice telling him to apologise. Being stubborn, he held back for a while.. then he finally did say sorry. He was expecting more scoldings and beatings but surprising this time round, the father embraced him and cried. His father said he was sorry too and said he loved him and told him he had been always beating him because he loved him and was concerned for him. Towards the end, Father Bosco played a song.. can't remember what was it but it was really touching and meaningful. All in all, he said communication is very important and we have to say things before it's too late.
At that time, yeye was not in good health and suddenly I got this sense of foreboding like something bad is going to happen. Like God wants me to spend more time with him before it's too late. I prayed every night for good health and speedy recovery for my grandparents cause I told God not to take them away yet. There's still so much I want to do and say to them. Anyway, thank goodness yeye has been discharged out of hospital today.
Right now I just have to accept my responsibilities. Need to find some work soon too and get some money. Plan for a holiday as well and when I am back, gotta make some serious plans about the future. Dad's working too hard and bro and me is worried for his health. Mum's working and still need to do the house chores. Bro and me need to get a job soon and lighten their load.
The going gets tough but it only make us stronger.
We are on a carnival ride.
posted by Clovvy at
11:29 PM
