Overwhelming Feelings

Overwhelmed by negative feelings...

WHY THE FUCK AM I STILL HERE!?

Why am I holding on?

Why?

Stayed strong, determined to see through this but I am getting so tired and to the point of raising the white flag..yet again..

:(

Time Management

Ok just when I thought I really need more time in the day.. I saw this in Yahoo!

Practice the following techniques to become the master of your own time:

Tip 1: Carry a schedule and record all your thoughts, conversations and activities for a week. This will help you understand how much you can get done during the course of a day and where your precious moments are going. You'll see how much time is actually spent producing results and how much time is wasted on unproductive thoughts, conversations and actions.

Tip 2: Any activity or conversation that's important to your success should have a time assigned to it. To-do lists get longer and longer to the point where they're unworkable. Appointment books work. Schedule appointments with yourself and create time blocks for high-priority thoughts, conversations, and actions. Schedule when they will begin and end. Have the discipline to keep these appointments.

Tip 3: Plan to spend at least 50 percent of your time engaged in the thoughts, activities and conversations that produce most of your results.

Tip 4: Schedule time for interruptions. Plan time to be pulled away from what you're doing. Take, for instance, the concept of having "office hours." Isn't "office hours" another way of saying "planned interruptions?"

Tip 5: Take the first 30 minutes of every day to plan your day. Don't start your day until you complete your time plan. The most important time of your day is the time you schedule to schedule time.

Tip 6: Take five minutes before every call and task to decide what result you want to attain. This will help you know what success looks like before you start. And it will also slow time down. Take five minutes after each call and activity to determine whether your desired result was achieved. If not, what was missing? How do you put what's missing in your next call or activity?

Tip 7: Put up a "Do not disturb" sign when you absolutely have to get work done.

Tip 8: Practice not answering the phone just because it's ringing and e-mails just because they show up. Disconnect instant messaging.

Tip 9: Don't instantly give people your attention unless it's absolutely crucial in your business to offer an immediate human response. Instead, schedule a time to answer email and return phone calls.

Tip 10: Block out other distractions like Facebook and other forms of social media unless you use these tools to generate business.

IGNORE CLOCK TIME, REAL TIME IS WHAT MATTERS!

Cuts like a knife

It pains me to have come to decision
As sudden to him
But as clear to me
Feel that I am slowly losing everything

It hurts me
Cuts like a knife
I am afraid
Don't know what I am thinking anymore...

Time of my life that everything is going downhill

What a long day

Woke up at 6.40am today. Totally feels when I was back in primary school when I have to wake up that early.

8am to reach NACLI for the 2015 Workplan Seminar and then back to CC for a staff meeting.

Guess what? Totally ownaged.. Most of us got shot down...

It's gonna be a busy week, or should I say month... nono, maybe it's the year.

So many things to do, so little time.

What's new?

Will be working at home tomorrow too although it's my off day.

And so I say...

Time hasn't been enough for me. Feel like I have been stretched for the past week..

I have sacrificed family time, meeting friends and intercessory meetings. Even if I've got an off day, I only feel like resting at home and to have some time for myself.

So much information in my mind lately and I admit making mistakes. I am not doing for the sake of doing it, but I want to do it well. But so much thinking has caused me disturbed sleep. I am the kind of person that hates making mistakes, big or small, and I know that's a bad thing cause you only learn through making them. But me being me, I always feel so affected when mistakes happen.

Sometimes I think.. is it worth it going the extra mile?

Maybe it's just me and my low-morale day. Who likes working on their off day? I really got to get use to this life now.

Work aside, always feel happy spending time with love ones. Even if it means just a few minutes.

Accompanied my Grandmother yesterday afternoon. Said that she wanted to go to the atm, and buy some stuff. She wanted to get a Silkygirl perfume. Went to the nearby Guardian to get it and I bought it for her. Feel happy seeing the smile on her face. :)

After a long or terrible day, I can always find comfort from my love-ones.. and not forgetting the One above that never fails to give me strength..

Sadness and guilt

My grandparents isn't feeling too well. Yeye is kinda sick with flu and I was kinda afraid it was a relapse of his pneumonia. Mama is always feeling tired and weak. And both of them have lost appetite and hence, lost a lot of weight.

It's kinda hard looking after them. Dad's busy with shift work and tennis. Mum's working and on top of that, still have to do the house chores which isn't easy. Then bro it's so busy too with work, meetings and stuff.

Which leaves me. But exam is in the way and I can't wait for that last paper to be over. It has been hard for me to deal with so much worries and I really admit that all these happenings in the house had made me so close to give up studying. Especially this year, I know I haven't entirely put in effort. Sometimes I feel numbed about doing well or not. It's like the I-don't-know-and-don't-care-anymore attitude.

I feel the frustration. You know like when you are studying.. then there's those interruption and distractions. Like it's raining and you got to help bring in the clothes. After meals, you gotta wash all the dishes. Then when grandparents are feeling depressed and talk about the other world, you gotta comfort them tell them to be strong etc. And not forgetting hearing the not too nice arguments because of the stress and frustration of others as well.

I am not complaining of doing things or the burden on me. I just feel sad and guilty that the past few months that I haven't been doing enough. Like helping around with the house chores and spending more time with my grandparents as I really love them a lot.

After that freaking last paper, I gotta remember my reponsibilties and the part I have to play.

It's time.

Confessions of a "shopaholic"

Tuesday.. Out with the JJJJ group. Hmm.. all their names start with J.. Maybe I should be named Jheryl...) Ok lame.

Anyway, realised we all are struggling during this period. At least, I am not alone. So I guessed that day, was the day to destress. It was lunch first before catching the movie Confessions of a Shopaholic. Nice movie I must say.

Beneath the humour, light-hearted, funny and touching moments, a message did shout out to me. I mean who doesn't like being showered with branded goods. Prada, Gucci, Ralph Lauren.. all the glitz and glamour. Don't buying stuff you love just make you happy? But I guess sometimes we fail to realise material goods can't fill an empty heart or heal a deep wound or give you everlasting joy. Simply put, they are temporary pleasures.

I am not saying you can't buy branded goods or other stuff that you love. As in you know.. not going overboard.. knowing your limits. Like there's a huge difference between a snowflake and an avalanche.

All I am saying is that there are other important things in life. You may own a fortune but what's life without Family, Friends, and not forgetting, The One above, God. :) I am sure that we all have neglected them in one way or another and too concerned with the-me-myself-and-I. I can honestly say that I am guilty.

I think this Lenten season for me is rather bad. I was optimistic it would start off well and it kinda did. But it slowly became the unexpected. I don't know why it's so hard for me this year. The stress, the pressure, the mood-swings.

But guess what? An angel talked to me.

Quoting word for word, she said, "Dun fret over it. It's nv too late to start. God appreciates even e smallest act you sacrifice. :) Time is nv enough for us. But u can make any period of time beautiful just by giving. Cherishing family is also an act of love. Smiling to a stranger. Or even b cheerful. W such, God will still b please with w u."

And that, is what I call things you can't buy with money. Also, this isn't temporary. It stays in your heart forever.

Thanks Daisy. It really made me feel better. :)