Hello 2012

It's been a long year in 2011, so it seems.

That 365 days were moments of ups and downs.

We go through, we learn, we become stronger.

Mistakes I have made, routes I have chosen, words that I have spoken, I can't turn back the time to change anything.

Life goes on.

I wont't be blogging here anymore.

Cheers to a new year and to continue on this life's journey.

God bless!

Chapter after chapter

You begin your chapter called life when you first open your eyes into this world.

The stories you have written for yourself base on your choices, decisions that can lead to moments of learning, opportunities, mistakes, or regrets.

We can't look back, only forward, to begin another chapter when one closes.

Things come, things go...

But one thing for sure, life goes on.

And to go on, takes faith, patience, believe, determination, persistence and courage.

Through this learning journey in life, He never gives up so don't you do so too cause He is always reaching out His hand just that sometimes we just choose to stand on our own feet.

Man cannot hit on the right time to act:
There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens. -Ecclesiastes 3:1

Memories

Heart still hurts but it will heal someday..
Till then I would be able to play the melody of memories once again.

Do you keep something that doesn't last?

Say for an example a movie ticket. You love to keep them. It could be a habit, a simple collection or to remember a fond memory. But, you know eventually that the text fades and it will be like a blank piece of paper.

Does that make you stop collecting and keeping movie tickets? Or do you continue doing so and just throw them away only when they fade...???

Can't find the right words to say

The 2 over months felt like 2 over years.

Looking back, it's like going through both the stormy weather and the bright sunshine days.

What was said yesterday scares me but with that said, I was kinda touched to tears. Never felt like this before.

If happiness is all that matters, what's stopping you?

The haunt

Manage to catch some sleep but didn't felt good cause I knew I had a nightmare. A nightmare I can't remember and I don't wish to remember.

I never watched a dramatic movie that felt so real before. Something close to my heart.

How it hurts when I see what's happening in the story being so true and it's like happening right before my very eyes.

It's scary when you tear not for the sad or touching storyline but you tear for the familarity and similarity of the past and current and perhaps even the unforeseen future.

Yes, I admit I am affected. As much as I want to push these negative thoughts away, it is haunting me once again.

WTF

I don't know wtf I was thinking or doing?

I have to admit I am feeling scared..

The start of 2011..

Hello 2011..

I wonder what will this year be like for me?

Celebrated the last day of 2010 at Zouk! Great party with the Huang and Lius.

Holiday time is over, and I tell myself it's time to get back being serious. Back to reality, time to put my heart into my work.

Any New Year resolutions?

Hmmm.. I really wanna learn something new! Like learn a new instrument, learn dance, or even master a new language..

I wanna spend more time with my family..

Discover more on my strengths and weaknesses and how I can put them to good use or overcome them, respectively.

Sigh, I really wanna go to WYD 2011 in spain but it will be a bad time to taking leave in August.

Thanks Jammy for taking my nonsense, being there for me when I needed you, giving me awesome surprises and simply just loving me for who I am. :)






Love you!

Wishing all my dear ones a Happy New Year and may all of you stay healthy, happy, always. :)

Dear zhor zhor, I know you are in a better place now. You had always given me the impression of being a person with great faith. You have that strong character that I admire. Rest in peace dear zhor zhor. You are home with the Lord now. Safe and sound

The Holiday Mood

As usual think I have said this many times before... where do I start?

It's been 4 months working as a Constituency Manager. (yes.. they deleted the "Assistant" in front but what's the point? It's just a title, not like I got some pay increase.. :o) And.. even been through the 8 days induction programme that every PA newbie goes through.

The induction was a great learning experience. From fun, late nights, suppers, project discussions, lectures, the outdoor cooking gone wrong, games, morning exercises, phototaking and simply bonding with fellow cohort mates.. it's gonna be a memory that will last forever. :)

It definitely made me know about the organisation better. Picked up things that was useful and may even apply to my job.

Challenges you face makes you a stronger person. Overcoming certain issues can be tough but somehow it makes you determined to turn the tide around. And when it does, you just feel that sense of achievement.

Well, being back at the office isn't good at this point due to feeling lazy-ish. Perhaps 8 days being away from work makes you feel that way and I was also away for another 2 days to Malacca. How nice.. it just increased my holiday-mood indicator to HIGH. Nevertheless, had great food there. Peranakan food is awesome! :D~

Work is slowing down now.. it being the end of the year but yet it is still piling up like in slow-mo. Somehow if I don't speed up, it's all going to collaspe down on me which is a definite no-no. I need some energy boost that will keep be going. With Christmas coming, gosh, it's not helping. But I am EXCITED as it's my FAVOURITE time of the year, a day I always look forward to. Talking about that, I am going to hunt for christmas prezzies tomorrow.

Time is really not enough, seriously. I said this before but honestly with this job, it robs your time away. I really miss learning something new once in a while, meeting with friends regularly, going out to take shots with my Nikon D90, spending weekends with the family and playing sports on a regular basis.. It's just not the same anymore..

Will things get better? I wonder 1 year from now, what will I be doing?

For now, let's just prepare for a joyous christmas season with love ones and friends and thank God for them. :)

Be yourself

Been thinking too much I guess..

It's like I was given a blank piece of paper and I drew a dark thunderstorm when I could have drawn a sunny day with happy people in it.

I guess the movie Step Up 3 made me move away from pessimism. Towards the end there was some inspiration talk from Moose.

It's about the journey and not the destination. :)

So perhaps the thinking too much made me go chop off my hair to this...





Nah.. not so silly. I have been wanting to cut short hair since last year and finally I took the courage to do it. Lol. Now some people say I am some sec sch or jc student. -.-"

Have faith
Try your best
Be yourself

Day 1 being retired

Yay no Monday blues today. Got to sleep till later and I woke up during lunch time. :x

Anyway, bro bought a 2nd hand Nissan March today and I got to test drive it. Sent Layling home and took the car to the petrol station to pump a little more petrol. Zzzz but really felt like a swakoo. Didn't exactly know what my Dad was talking about using the shell card, lucky draw stuff and payment using the UOB card. What's worse was when I ask my bro whether the tank was located on the left or right, he told me it was on the right and so I went to the pump station for the right tank only to discover that it was on the left. YAWNS and so gotta shift the car nearer to the pump station. -_-

Anyway I am gonna cook Chicken Chop for every1 today. Prepare to get addicted to my awesome cooking! Lol.

You're looking for something you can't find
If you give it up, you'll lose your mind
There's always something in you way
What can you say?
You're gonna have a good day

I just love blasting this Click Five song loudly
Love this song... Makes your day better :)

Ok time slack for a little more, and then time for me to be the Chef!

~God has more in store for us then we can ever predict, and what we fear are bad choices frequently turn out for the best, because our hidden aspirations know better where we are going than our rational minds.

Persistence

It was a very last minute thing. I didn't check my email for about a few days and before I felt for Amplify, I decided to take a look.

Saw the mail from Florence and didn't knew there was Ministering today. Then a thought came to me.. Do I need to be prayed over? I brushed it off and quickly left the house as I was running late.

Praise and worship was great but what was better was the part after that. Cassilda was talking and preparing all of us for ministering. She mentioned so many stuff that was relevant to me. Keywords and phrases like purpose, direction, confusion, praying for that same thing, transition period etc. Through her words, I realised that God had brought me to this week's session for a reason.

I really don't know. Everytime when I am supposed to proceed to the next step/stage of my life, I feel like I am back to square one. It's like would you go with the flow or will you take the road less travelled by? And another thing is what's God mission for me?

Years I have been praying but response has been close to nothing. Signs ain't obvious but every little sign gives me hope.

I received hope again when I was being prayed over. Little as it seems, I am convinced from others that prayers can take a long time to be answered and that is always a reason.

Persistence.

You give and take away
Blessed be Your name

Sadness and guilt

My grandparents isn't feeling too well. Yeye is kinda sick with flu and I was kinda afraid it was a relapse of his pneumonia. Mama is always feeling tired and weak. And both of them have lost appetite and hence, lost a lot of weight.

It's kinda hard looking after them. Dad's busy with shift work and tennis. Mum's working and on top of that, still have to do the house chores which isn't easy. Then bro it's so busy too with work, meetings and stuff.

Which leaves me. But exam is in the way and I can't wait for that last paper to be over. It has been hard for me to deal with so much worries and I really admit that all these happenings in the house had made me so close to give up studying. Especially this year, I know I haven't entirely put in effort. Sometimes I feel numbed about doing well or not. It's like the I-don't-know-and-don't-care-anymore attitude.

I feel the frustration. You know like when you are studying.. then there's those interruption and distractions. Like it's raining and you got to help bring in the clothes. After meals, you gotta wash all the dishes. Then when grandparents are feeling depressed and talk about the other world, you gotta comfort them tell them to be strong etc. And not forgetting hearing the not too nice arguments because of the stress and frustration of others as well.

I am not complaining of doing things or the burden on me. I just feel sad and guilty that the past few months that I haven't been doing enough. Like helping around with the house chores and spending more time with my grandparents as I really love them a lot.

After that freaking last paper, I gotta remember my reponsibilties and the part I have to play.

It's time.

Vulnerability

Sigh... Grandma talked about the other world again.

When cancer and illnesses come, your life just turns 360 degrees. I used to see a cheerful her and now she always looks weak and tired.

She told me her time is almost up and cannot last long. I was speechless but later comforted her to remain strong and happy.

Life's short and people say just eat what you want and do what you want. But I think it the other way.. As in I think we should eat and live healthily.. Because you don't want some kidney failure or diabetes nonsense to happen to you. If something comes naturally, then so be it. But if it was caused by your own intake and actions, then it will be your own regret that you made your life shorter.

So many things to do in this world.. the last thing you want is something to ruin your life forever.

God please make Grandma better.